I have a hard time making decisions. I have a long history of having a hard time
making decisions. I think I would be
much happier if someone else in my life made them and then I could deal with it
and grouse about the results. I’m
wrong. Fortunately my husband knows that
I’m wrong and he isn’t afraid to remind me of some pieces of wisdom that I
heard my mother say.
When I was little, my parents were more apt to make the
decision for me, especially if it looked like I was going to make the “wrong”
decision. But I did learn a few things
about decision-making from my family. I
think it was out of frustration, my mom had a mantra. (Did I also mention that I was
v…e…r…y……s…l…o…w…?) I think it was supposed to speed up the decision
process. She would tell me, “We
choose from what’s available.” I can
almost still hear her voice when I think about that line. But it’s true! There is no sense pining away for a choice
that is not available. Sometimes it
takes a tremendous amount of trust in God to let go of the pining, but in the
end, whether we want to or not, we choose from what’s available.
As I got older, I started watching the choices that my older
siblings were making and they started adding to the advice. I’m sure that these bits of wisdom were borne
out of their own experiences.
I heard one sister say since I am the one who is going to
have to live with my decisions and the results of them, it is better to “Make
your own decisions.” I think she’d
had enough of making decisions that she thought would please someone else and
was tired of dealing with the consequences herself. Despite the effect that my decisions have on
others, they primarily affect me. They
shape the course of my life.
Another sister added that if I make a decision that I don’t
like, I have two options:
#1, You can change the decision, and #2, If you can’t
change the decision; you can decide to like it. I know it’s not rocket science and to some it
might be obvious, but I need a little more coaching than most.
I’ll often think through this as I make decisions. It’s helpful advice, right up there with the
advice given by one of those sisters while she was helping me clean out my
dresser drawer-full of second grade worksheets “Barbie, are you going to still
want this fifty years from now? (No.)
Let’s get rid of it now!”
